Before long, at the sound check, he began substituting bawdy lyrics: “I just want someone . . . to have sex with” and “Now you know I’m . . . full of shi-it.” “I couldn’t have loved you any better, unless . . . you grew some bigger tits.” Cohen walked by, shaking his head.
After a while, Joel stopped. “Should we really do that one? Really?”
“There won’t be a dry eye in the house,” the saxophonist Mark Rivera said.
Me: I’m thinking of doing that Billy Joel song Just The Way You Are.
My sister: I’ve never liked that song.
Me: Why not?
My sister: Because he’s basically saying “Don’t ever change. Don’t improve.”
Me: He isn’t saying that. He’s saying that he loves her, that she doesn’t have to go out of her way to impress him. “Don’t change the color of your hair.” That means “I love you for YOU. And if you dye your hair, what’s that all about? Why are you trying to change? I love you just the wayay you aaaaaaaare.”
My sister: But what if she wants to change?
Me: …like she’s looking for something better, so she’s pretending to be something she isn’t?
My sister: …
Me: What about “She’s Always A Woman To Me?”
My sister: That’s a better song.
Me: But it’s kind of the same song. I think it could actually be less of a lovesong than the other one, because it’s got a sentiment of settling – there’s actually a bit of knife-twisting in there.
My sister: No there isn’t. “She’s ahead of her time…”
Me: I think you’re being very selective about these lyrics. “She’s steals like a thief but she’s always a woman to me.” In that one he’s saying “the woman I love has PROBLEMS – but whatevs, we have it pretty good most days. Still, I wish she wouldn’t LIE THROUGH HER TEEETH TO ME!!!!!!”
My sister: …don’t do that one.
Man. This song is such a BUMMER! What can we do to, i dunno, chipper it up a bit?!
Come on, Allentown – where they’re closing all the factories down. Turn those frowns UPSIDE…DOWN!
I think that if you change the words around a bit you could have something that would be relevant to all these out-of-work college graduates.