Category Archives: dialog
I think he thought I was going to sit in the car and eat it in the parking lot
[INT: Local Convenience Store - BUYING A PINT OF MINT CHOCOLATE SWIRL ICE CREAM] Cashier: Will that be all? Me: Yes. Cashier: Do you want a bag for that? Me: No, that’s fine. Cashier: How about a spoon? Me: …
Due Date
Movie Exec 1: Hey, if we redid Planes, Trains and Automobiles do you think anybody would notice? Movie Exec 2: What’s Planes, Trains and Automobiles? Movie Exec 1: …we start filming on monday.
The Endless Battle Between Coffee and Tea
Coffee People: Coffee’s good for you. Tea People: No, tea’s better for you! Coffee People: No – you’re wrong! Tea People: No – YOU’RE WRONG! Coffee People: No – YOU! Me: Gentlemen please! I’ll drink both of you! Both are … Continue reading
What’s Important, Right On Your Dashboard
INT: MICROSOFT MARKET RESEARCH LAB Microsoft researcher: And, in your life, what would you say is most important to you? Interviewee: Hmmm…I dunno. Movies. Xbox. Halo Reach. Taylor Swift. My own birthday…I’m into barcodes.
Imagined Negotiation Dialogues Between Labels and Streaming Services
Label: So let me get this straight. We currently offer our albums for download at $10 a pop. Streaming service: Yup. Label: And you’re proposing that we go in with you and a bunch of other labels to have our … Continue reading
If Text Messaging Rates Were Applied To The Post Office
Postal Worker: Oh Dan, you got a letter today. Me: Really? Oh great. Postal Worker: Yup. That’ll be 44¢. Me: Um, what? Postal Worker: Yeah, 44¢. You were sent something in the mail, through our network, and it costs 44¢ … Continue reading
How do you pronounce Machinarium?
Me: I’ve been playing this game called Machinarium. (pronounced it as MaCK-inarium) Sister: Oh? Me: You’re a little robot and you get kicked out of the junkyard and you have to find your way back. Gorgeous artwork…It’s pretty fun. Sister: … Continue reading
Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros – Home
Chat with my sister, after making me watch the video for Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros’ Home Me: “home is wherever i’m with you” You really feel that way about me? Her: if you say so. Me: I figured … Continue reading
Dialog: Buying the new Metric Album
I think this demonstrates my point here. [INTERIOR - SITTING IN FRONT OF MY MACBOOK, GIVING A DEMO OF LALA.COM TO MY SISTER] Me: Hey, have you heard of lala.com? Her: No. Me: It’s pretty cool. You can listen to … Continue reading
Dialog: Ad Salespeople
The ad sales negotiation process applied to another industry where it plain just wouldn’t work. [INTERIOR - PRETZEL STAND AT THE MALL] Me: Yes, I’d like to have a pretzel. Pretzel Sales Guy: But wouldn’t you rather have six pretzels? … Continue reading