This is the first in what I hope will be a new series of posts in which I look at ads and make fun of them
-INT: Photography Session-
Director: That’s nice Leo. Real nice. Now, just look off to the side like that and—yes, perfect.
Photographer SNAPS a photo
Director: Ahh! Perfect.
Photographer (whispering to director): Hey, can we take 5?
Director: Sure. OK Everyone! Take 5.
Photographer walks with director off set
Director: All right Barry, what’s the problem this time?
Photographer: Look, you know I wouldn’t interrupt a good photo sesh unless-
Director: Barry, time is money here.
Photographer: It’s Leo. He’s wearing sleeves.
Director: Yeah…some gorgeous sleeves.
Photographer: Right. And they cover up the product.
Director: Uh, product? Leo is the product!
Photographer: The Watch! They cover up the watch.
Director: Shit. You’re right. We’ve been here for hours taking shots. We’ve got HUNDREDS of photos of Leo and a watch YOU CAN’T EVEN SEE! Ugh. I’m sorry.
Photographer: We can fix it.
Director: I guess I just got caught up in the LEO of it. Ya know? DAMMIT!
Photographer: What if we asked him to roll up his sleeves?
Director: HA! You kidding? No can do. We paid thousands of dollars for that shirt! And you want him to ROLL UP THE SLEEVES?!
Photographer: Okay fine. What if, now…now listen here. Instead of wearing the watch on his wrist, he wears it on his hand.
Director: …his hand?
Photographer: Right on his hand.
Director: …nobody wears a watch like that. You’d look like an idiot wearing a watch like that.
Photographer: I know, but—
Director: I mean, hell, who wears an expensive watch anymore anyway? Self-important ego-maniacs. That’s who.
Photographer: We could use that! What if we make it a new style trend?
Director: Style trend?
Photographer: We can make wearing a watch on your hand like that…cool.
Director: I don’t know, Barry.
Photographer: Ok – well, can’t we make it okay to do that? Like, this ad – can’t we say we donate a portion of the proceeds to that wilderness fund Leo’s a part of? Or some shit like that. I’m stabbing in the dark here.
Director: This. Is. Brilliant. Because if someone makes fun of you wearing your watch like that you can respond with something like “Hey, what you got against the RAIN FORESTS, ASSHOLE?!”
Director: Nobody would make fun of someone wearing a watch like that. Not if they thought it’s gonna make them look like some kind of ANTI-environmentalist.
Photographer: Think Leo would be cool with it?
Director: HA! Didn’t you see Inception? He’s all right as long as he gets paid! Photographer: Good. Then it’s a plan.
Director: All right everybody. BACK TO WORK!