How Do Movies Get Made?: 30 Days of Night

Written on September 7, 2008 – 11:11 am | by Dan

INT - Boardroom Of Major Movie Studio

Company president: Alright folks - let’s cut to the chase! We need a movie, we need to make it fast and cheap, and we need to make some money on it…and we need to get it out in 2 months.

Executive 1: There’s no way we can make a fine piece of cinema with this budget in 2 months!

Company President: Precisely! All we’re looking for is a profit. We need to brainstorm - GO!!!

Uncomfortable silence all over the room as company president brings a black marker to the white board

Executive 2: OOh - something scary?

President: I like this - i like this. What else?

Executive 2: Um - uh. Hmm… We can get that guy from Dawson’s Creek. He’s like a cop, or something. Blonde girlfr- EX girlfriend!

President: Yeah - yeah!

Executive 3: Alright - I got it, I got it. Let’s just put this real simply.

Company President: Go on…

E3: Ok - name one thing nobody fucking likes?


E3: Winter…

More silence

E3: Combine that with another thing nobody fucking likes…Vampires.

Places hands together, fingers intertwined.

Executive 2: …Arctic - Vampires?

Executive 3: That’s right - the name of the movie is Arctic Vampire! Here’s what the current market research says.

Box Office Gold

Company President: Brilliant! I’ll send it down to Jenkins. He’ll get a crew up to Alaska and we’ll have somebody write a script on the way up.

Cheers around the room

Company President: Excellent work Gentlemen! Enjoy your weekend - Arctic Vampire will be a smash hit, and it only costs us 50 bucks! Come back on Monday refreshed and ready to give me your ideas about some parody on disaster movies, I guess.

Executive 1: Are we seriously making this?

Nobody hears him - they’ve all left.


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  1. 2 Responses to “How Do Movies Get Made?: 30 Days of Night”

  2. By Chrisy Boombastic Rosy on Sep 10, 2008 | Reply

    Or they make a movie version of an already existing graphic novel.

  3. By Dan on Sep 10, 2008 | Reply

    I think the version I posted is probably more likely.

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