X-Men Auditions

Int – Professor Xavier’s School for the Gifted and Talented

Professor Xavier: Yes, so what is your name?
Student: Sensei Tekken

Student bows to Professor Xavier and other members of the X-Men judges

Xavier: And what is your special power?
Student 1: I’m really good at Karate and other martial arts.
Wolverine: So? All of us are.
Student 1: Yeah, but I mean really good. I have been practicing martial arts since I was 4 years old. You only get that kind of skill with the dedication I have put into it.
Storm: Is that right?
Student 1: I think so.
Storm: My name is Storm. My special power is that I can change the weather at will. Also, I am insanely good at Karate.
Wolverine: I am Wolverine. I have an adamantium skeleton that is indestructible. I can heal myself whenever I am wounded. Also, I am really good at Karate.
Xavier: As a matter of fact, everyone here is really, really good at karate.
Student 1: I have my own dojo and am internationally recognized for my martial arts abilities.
Xavier: Yeah, well…pffft.
Student 1: How did you all get really good at Karate?
Storm: I…I don’t know.
Wolverine: Me neither. Really, the whole adamantium thing is enough. I don’t even really need to be good at Karate. I can stab people so easily with my claws the Karate thing is really a formality.
Student 1 (to Xavier): Did you teach them?
Xavier: No, you may not have noticed, but I am in a wheel chair. But I can read minds and one time I read the mind of a black belt. I thought I would learn Karate, but instead I learned a really good chili recipe.
Wolverine: …all of us are also really good at making chili.
Xavier: Next!

student 1 leaves as student 2 walks on stage wearing an apron

Xavier: And what is your mutant power?
Student 2 (nervously): I…I am really good at making chili.