Today someone sent me an email about a project and wrote “not trying to be argumentative” at the end, as if they were preparing for me to get upset about something. I wouldn’t have even thought that was the case until I read “not trying to be argumentative.”
Defense arousal prevents the listener from concentrating upon the message. Not only do defensive communicators send off multiple value, motive and affect cues, but also defensive recipients distort what they receive. As a person becomes more and more defensive, he or she becomes less and less able to perceive accurately the motives, the values and the emotions of the sender. The writer’s analysis of tape recorded discussions revealed that increases in defensive behavior were correlated positively with losses in efficiency in communication.
- Via Rands. If you at all have to work with teams on a regular basis everything on Rands In Repose is gold.