Selected texts I sent my sister while watching the Les Miserables Movie

Potential Spoilers. In chronological order.

  • I want this priest to be Harvey kietel
  • Fuck – this is 2 and a half hours? Glad I started
  • You think this is Hugh jackman’s real singing voice? Or Russell Crowe’s? Because it is suspicious that these Hollywood stars also happen to have excellent singing voices.
  • Anne Hathaway looks like a meth addict. Still hot.
  • Javert doesn’t recognize Jean valjean…until he lifts something heavy. Makes perfect sense.
  • Now the song about getting whores — yet somehow people love bringing their kids to this show.
  • What is Jean valjean’s business as a free man? Making widgets? He’s worried about his workers if he turns himself in.
  • Ha! They got Helen Bonham Carter for this part. Perfect.
  • Ohhh – and they got Borat.
  • “I will pay what I must pay to take Cosette away.” Jean Valjean SUCKS at negotiation.
  • I think it’s about time for an intermission
  • I took an intermission
  • Better get on this roof and sing about finding a fugitive
  • I don’t know enough about the French Revolution to be critical of this…except that this kid has an english/cockney accent. “That’s right, I’m French, Guvna!”
  • Way too many characters to keep track of
  • Hugh Jackman got fat
  • Eponine got friend-zoned.
  • See, you guys! Javert is on OUR side! Oh shit – this kid knows what’s up.
  • This is tooooooo loooooooong! That has always been my main criticism of Les Miserables. Way too long.