- INT: PHOTOGRAPHY SESSION –
Photographer: Right, sure thing! If you say so Mr. DiCaprio.
Photographer takes a few shots. The director arrives on the set.
Director: Hey Barry, don’t mind me. Just wanna see how things are coming along!
Photographer: Yeah – we’re all thrilled to be working on this campaign again.
Director: Did you hear? The numbers are in – everybody’s wearing watches on their hands, just like we thought they would.
Photographer: I didn’t hear it — I SAW IT!
Director: Of course! You SAW it!
Photographer: Everywhere I go, people with watches on their hands! Not on their wrists!
Director: What did I tell ya? Didn’t I tell ya? If Leo’s doing it and donating to the whales or somethin’, then EVERYONE will do it!
Photographer: Yeah…but I do kinda miss the old days. The old days when people wore watches on their wrists.
Photographer gets teary-eyed
Director: Hey – hey, Barry, hey.
Director comes in close and rubs photographer on the back.
Director: Look. I miss those days too. Sure I miss ’em. Hell, I think about it every day when I wake up. Every day before I go to bed at night.
Photographer: We…we did this.
Director: HEY! No. Don’t talk like that!
Photographer: WE DID THIS TO OUR SOCIETY! We brought on the era of hand-watch-wearing! Everyone looks STUPID AND IT’S ALL OUR FAULT!
Director: Hey! KNOCK IT OFF!
Director slaps photographer across the face
Director: Don’t pin this on us. Don’t you get it? People WANT to wear watches on their hands.
Photographer: NO THEY DON’T! WE FOOLED THEM INTO THINKING IT WAS COOL!
Director: Barry! If people think it’s cool then it IS cool.
Photographer: sniff — You…you think so?
Director: Yes. I know so. Society is built upon mistakes that later became trends. Bubble tea. Skrillex haircuts. Those shoes that light up with each step you take. You can’t assign blame. You can’t take responsibility. It’s nobody’s fault. It just happens. It’s just the way it is.
Photographer dries his eyes
Director: Look, the important thing is this. Leo is happy. Tag Heuer is happy. People are buying watches and they are happy. Does it really matter where they wear them?
Photographer: People can’t open doors anymore.
Director: Is that really that important?
Photographer: I…suppose not.
Director: Of course not. Now I have some other business to take care of while I’m here, but when you wrap things up give me a call and I’ll buy ya a drink.
Director: Of course. A Zima. I know you love Zima. They’re timeless. They’ll never go out of style.