Your Inventory Will Expire Soon (and I Suspect That You Might Be a Cat)


Oh – so sorry

I didn’t mean to make you feel so lonely, especially on the internet, where there are literally hundreds of millions of lonely people looking to hook up and have a good time. Maybe there’s one in your neighborhood.

Okay, yeah. So maybe I should review these old movies and video games I listed from time to time to make sure they’re priced appropriately. I know it’s been a while since I looked, so thanks for the heads up. They haven’t sold quite the way I…actually, yeah. I didn’t think I’d be selling many of these after I saw some of them were listed by other users for a dollar.

Maybe I should just throw this stuff in the trash.

Anyway, I think I get it. You want to make sure I’m not some spammer who listed a bunch of junk and then skipped town with all the jewels as onlookers admired my wonderfully flamboyant Salvador Dali mustache and top hat. It’s important for you to make sure your sellers have some integrity, and the only way for you to determine that is if they click a few buttons every once in a while.

My inventory expiring sounds scary, perhaps irreversible, and it was a pain in the butt listing this stuff the first time around. So it worked. I’m now dicking around on my account to somehow let you know that I’m a real person who is still alive and not some cat or something.