Father’s Fashion Tips

“Close the door,” he said. “I have to ask you something.”

“What, Dad?”

”Do you…clean your navel?”

“Uh, no,”

”Well, you should. You’re a man now, and you sweat, and sweat can collect in your navel and produce an odor that is very…offensive.” Then: “This is witch hazel. It eliminates odors. This is a Q-Tip. To clean your navel, just dip the Q-Tip into the witch hazel and then swab the Q-Tip around your navel. For about thirty seconds. You don’t have to do it every day; just once a week or so.” He demonstrated the technique on himself, then handed me my own Q-Tip.

”But Dad, who is going to smell my navel?”

”You’re going off to college, son. You’re going to meet women. You never want to risk turning them off with an offensive odor.”