Dialog: Ad Salespeople

The ad sales negotiation process applied to another industry where it plain just wouldn’t work.

[INTERIOR – PRETZEL STAND AT THE MALL]

Me: Yes, I’d like to have a pretzel.

Pretzel Sales Guy: But wouldn’t you rather have six pretzels?

Me: Uh, no. Just one.

PSG: Really? Because one pretzel isn’t really a good snack anyway. Don’t get me wrong, I want to sell you pretzels, just five more than you really want.

Me: I just want to see how the pretzel tastes.

PSG: Ask anyone around you who’s had our pretzels and they’ll tell you much they like them.

Me: One pretzel please.

PSG: I’ll be honest. One pretzel by itself doesn’t taste that good. You’ll be happier if you get six all at once.

Me: …I will have just one pretzel.

PSG: It’s six times better than-

Me: JUST GIVE ME A FUCKING PRETZEL!

PSG: Ok ok ok. I hear what you’re saying. You don’t want to make a pretzel mistake six times. That’s fair.

Me: Yes. That’s absolutely right.

PSG: I know we aren’t the only pretzel place here, so let’s work together on this. I know we can work this out if we just talk about it.

Me: How about one pretzel?

PSG: How about this? Six pretzels and I’ll throw in some mustard and a little extra salt! Because your business means that much to me.

Me: Forget it. I hate pretzels now.

[I LEAVE]


Photo by ginnerobot used under a Creative Commons License