You Should Spend Money On This Because It’s MAGICAL!

The Academy awards aired a few weeks ago. I didn’t catch much of it, but what I did see almost always contained the theme for the night.

That theme, of course, was “PLEASE SPEND MONEY AT THE CINEMA!!!”

It’s kind of amusing that they’re on the verge of begging and pleading with you to come to the movies. I don’t know what theaters are like out in Hollywood, but they must be incredible since they cite how “powerful” the movie experience is when shared with other people.

You want to experience raw human emotion and connection? Go to a wedding. Go to a funeral. Go to a bris. Go to an intervention. Don’t go to Mission Impossible III.

The theater around where I live charges $8.25 for a ticket. My initial reaction, because I’ve gotten used to movie tickets being a rip-off, was not “Holy crap, $8.25 for a ticket is expensive!” it was “…where does the $0.25 come from?”

So, after a $8.25 ticket, $5-6 for snacks, you’ve spent nearly $15 for ONE PERSON. For magic. This magic consists of somebody sitting next to you farting out their Double Decker Supreme from Taco Bell and your feet sticking to the floor from spilt soda. For more magic moments, the guy in front of you talks on his cell phone during the movie. Another person another few rows over gets excited at a scene and yells to the screen “SHOOT THAT BITCH!!”

Magical times.

So, when I watched the Academy Awards I thought much about my college graduation. The ceremony consisted of the college president telling us how important it is to “give back” to our college community. Our speaker was a guy who basically stood in front of us and said “I don’t know why I’m up here” for 25 minutes.

That was another magical moment shared with strangers.

My degree isn’t even cold yet and I’m already being asked to donate money to the school, both ath the ceremony and now about a year later (as Jen has also experienced). They should give their alumni a little breathing room to pay off those college loans before they start asking for cash.

Plus, I wouldn’t mind donating to charities and causes I believe in, so when I see that they want to build a new theatre and then some world disaster hits, I’m more likely to give to the Red Cross or something. The school needs new acoustic paneling. The family ravished by a hurricane needs a new house. In that case, I wouldn’t care if the mid-range in the theater sounds like trash.

The value in a college education does not come so much from the classroom as it does from the dorm rooms because of the social and inner awakening you get from newfound independence. So the college “community” is mostly the friends I’ve made there.

And I’m not giving those guys a fricken dime.