Silent Hill: The Movie

Dear Hollywood,

Doom has taken a 150% plunge at the box office and anytime someone mentions videogame movie adaptations they can’t help but bring up Super Mario Brothers. That’s why, I beg of you, to not mess up the Silent Hill movie.

The problem that you seem to be facing is that you depend too much on people going to see your movies simply based on the fact that it’s based on a game that they like, not because it’s quality film. I’m still scratching my head over how you managed to squeeze out a Tomb Raider sequel, although I bet that you have Angelina Jolie to thank.

Honestly, I don’t have much faith that you’ll be faithful to the Silent Hill universe. You did the same thing to Resident Evil. There was the perfect premise for a thriller/mystery movie, and you had to cheese it up with crappy dialogue, clichéd fight scenes and plain bad acting. Have you heard the commentary for Resident Evil: Apocalypse? Nobody knows what they’re talking about.

That’s why before you begin production (too late) you have to keep these points in mind:

1) Use what the games give you While RE and other survival horror games rely on monsters bursting through glass or zombies breaking in through windows for scares, Silent Hill is much more subtle. Having to make sense of the two different “worlds”, unique monsters (Pyramid Head) and what unites the characters (and the games) throughout is not something that should be wasted.

2) There’s really no need for a scantily clad female Silent Hill isn’t supposed to be sexy, it’s supposed to be fucked up. Sure, Silent Hill 2 had Maria and there were the occasional innuendoes, but they weren’t overbearing. Besides, she is fake.

3) Don’t cast Dennis Hopper Three words; Box Office Poison.

4) Akira Yamaoka should be doing the soundtrack Which he is. His sound design and music is really half the game. I’ve got all the soundtracks (probably the pirated Korean versions, but nevertheless…) and pre-ordered Silent Hill 4 just to get the limited edition CD (which I didn’t get because EB employees take the limited edition stuff and put it on Ebay I’m sure).

5) The protagonist cannot be a hero At least in the traditional sense. Part of the appeal of Silent Hill’s lead roles is that they’re not the kinds of people who save the day. Keep it that way. We need an everyday person to have bad stuff happen to, not The Rock.

I’m no movie producer, but I know what I likes. Silent Hill is perhaps the most disturbing title ever. At a time when we were all used to running from T-virus infected dogs and searching for keys to stop Wesker, Silent Hill tried to do something different by relying on our emotions to frighten us instead of zombies and huge snakes.

Please don’t ruin this for me.

1 thought on “Silent Hill: The Movie”

  1. Dear Danny,<br/><br/>We will try our best, but we still believe that tits and ass is the best way to go with this movie.<br/><br/> Love,<br/> The Movie Business

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